INTRODUCTION

Rituals offer us the chance to reconnect with life. Even the smallest of ceremonies and rituals can give meaning to everyday life, allowing us to connect with each other, with our own psyches, with the transitions and passages of our lives. They are vital to our psychological and spiritual health.

Ritual occupies a strange place in modern society. Some people look forward to ritual gatherings like Christmas as a time of family, friends and fun. Others feel horror as the first Christmas cards appear in the shops, dreading a season of stress and strain. Aside from battling with Christmas, we dutifully bake birthday cakes and don our best clothes to go to weddings, christenings and funerals. Some people would say, in fact, that we have too much ritual in our lives.

But compared to our forebears, we are seriously lacking. Ritual might seem outmoded, even unnecessary but many psychologists and sociologists are now insisting that, in order to lead balanced, healthy lives, we need much more ritual, not less. A good ritual can soothe the soul and balance the psyche. It offers us a chance to express our emotions, to understand our feelings, to come to terms with our place in the universe.

However, for rituals to be healing and life-enhancing, they need to have meaning. We don't need more commercial trappings; we don't, for example, need bigger, more expensive Christmasses: we simply need more personalised ones.

Rituals were a central part of life for our ancestors. In pre-Christian times the year spun around marked with regular seasonal festivals in which all the community participated. They were not, as originally thought, an attempt to control nature, but more a means of coming to terms with the shifting rhythms of the seasons. By following the ups and downs of the year, people got to grips with the cycles of their own lives, learning that there are times of great energy and joy alongside times of quiet introspection; times of birth and rebirth but inevitably also times of sadness, loss and death.

Inbetween these seasonal festivals our forebears celebrated important life events - rituals of birth, adolescence, menstruation, marriage, menopause and death. A few remain but are often stifled or derisory. Think of the wedding where the heart of the ceremony has been lost amidst the social one-upmanship. Or the "drive-through" funeral in which mourners "pay their respects" by observing the deceased on a video and recording their presence on a computer.

Good rituals however help us weather the ups and downs of life. Also, in a time where many of us live far away from our family, where many of us don't even know our neighbours, rituals give us a small sense of community, a sense of who we are and where we fit into the scheme of life.

RITUAL IN YOUR LIFE

THINKING ABOUT RITUAL IN YOUR LIFE

Think about these questions:

· What rituals do you follow in your family and what beliefs do they express?

· Do they represent what you truly believe or do you simply go through the motions to please other people?

· Are important yearly events like birthdays and wedding anniversaries marked or do they simply slide by with little notice? How about key events like retirement or graduation?

Here are some examples of how to incorporate very simple rituals into everyday life……

SOLO PAMPERING SUPPER

Whether we live alone or just have the occasional evening on our own, most of us find ourselves eating alone from time to time. Often we don't make an effort for ourselves - we grab a sandwich or pop something in the microwave. This ritual, loosely based on Greek mythology however can make a welcome change. It boosts self-esteem as well as letting us remember that we can honor sacred mealtimes as much on our own as in a crowd.

WHAT YOU NEED: Selection of your very favorite foods. Six pink candles. Bowl of fresh flowers. Pen and paper. Mandarin or sweet orange essential oils.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Start by having a long relaxing soak in the bath. Light pink candles all around the bath and add six drops of uplifting mandarin or orange oils - disperse well. Lie in your bath and spend some time appreciating your body - imagine you are Aphrodite in her pool, surrounded by nymphs who tend to your every whim. Enjoy their compliments and attention.

2. Dry yourself and dress in comfortable clean clothes - pure cotton or silk is ideal. Enjoy the feeling of the cloth on your clean skin.

3. Prepare the table for your supper with care and attention. Place a beautiful piece of cloth on the table (you might try a length of sari fabric or a large silk scarf). Arrange the pink candles and put some fresh flowers in a bowl or vase. You might like to sprinkle petals on the table or strew sweet-smelling herbs such as lemon verbena, woodruff and borage. Wind some rosemary or lavender into a napkin ring.

4. Take your time preparing your meal. Make it special. It doesn't require complex recipes but should consist of the very best quality food you can afford, cooked to perfection. As you cook, pour all your hopes and dreams into your chopping and stirring. Believe in the alchemy of cookery magic. You might want to summon a divinity to help you in any desires you may have: Aphrodite for love; Hermes for your career; Athena for wisdom; Zeus for power and Artemis for travel and freedom.

5. While your meal is cooking sit down at your table with pen and paper. Make a list of all your good qualities - the things you like about yourself. Then write down all your achievements - however small. Spend a few moments appreciating your very special qualities.

6. Eat your meal with mindfulness and enjoyment.

7. Clear away with pleasure in a task well done.

8. Spend the rest of your evening in whatever way you like: perhaps some meditation or yoga; reading a good book or listening to some favorite music.

AURA CLEANSING

One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to keep our aura clean and bright. This ritual is as essential to our well-being as brushing our teeth or having a bath. There are very many ways to cleanse the aura: virtually every ancient culture has its own. This version combines elements from the Native American and Wiccan traditions.

YOU WILL NEED: Blue silk scarf. Smudge stick, bowl or shell, large feather (or incense or juniper aromatherapy oil and burner). Matches. Plant mister filled with water (add either a few drops of juniper and lavender essential oils or a few drops of Bach Rescue Remedy). A candle. Bowl of sea salt.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Gather all your ingredients together on a clean table, covered with a blue silk scarf.

2. Light your smudge (or incense or oil). Call on the Spirit of Air to cleanse and purify you, taking away negative thoughts. Waft the smoke around your body (if you are using smudge, use the feather to direct the smoke). Pay particular attention to each chakra area. Make sure you cover your back, bottom of your feet, top of head. You may well sense a tingling of energy.

3. Take your mister and spray yourself with a fine spray, calling on the Spirit of Water to take away any negative emotions and feelings. Imagine all the negativity seeping out of your auric pores and dispersing.

4. Now hold the candle and call on the Spirit of Fire to burn away all the dross and persistent negativity sticking to your aura. Imagine the purifying flames flickering around your body and your aura, gently licking it clean.

5. Take a little salt in your hands and touch it, in turn, to each of your chakra centers - the top of your head, your third eye, your throat, heart, solar plexus, genitals, base of the spine. Call on the Spirit of Earth to ground you and keep your newly purified aura clean and bright.

6. Stand still, quietly breathing with your eyes closed. Feel the fresh clean energy coursing through your body. Thank the elemental spirits for helping you in this cleansing ritual.

7. You may wish to look in the mirror and view your aura - can you detect the difference?

For more ideas on how to bring sacred ritual into your life, read Rituals for Sacred Living. The Smudge Pack and Spirit of the Home also have good suggestions…..